Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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