just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize