Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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