is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
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