Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
