so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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