Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My liver is preforming stress tests.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Someone signed my nipple.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
