Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Boobs speak an international language.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
