They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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