i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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