My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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