By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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