Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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