I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
