i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
