somebody snuck up and got me drunk
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
