I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize