I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
