It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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