So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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