Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize