That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
