i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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