i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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