i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
