so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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