you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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