So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
