Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
