marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
