the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
