Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
