i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
