i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
