In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
