Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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