Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
