Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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