Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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