i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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