if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Farmville is her only friend.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Houston, we have a blender
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
