Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize