At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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