You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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