I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
