i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
