Nicole vs. Life
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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