White coat. Heels.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
