you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
this boner is exhausting
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
