I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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