i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
