Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
