bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
When are your genitals available?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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