I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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