if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
