Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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