I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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