He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
did i walk over a car last night?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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