White coat. Heels.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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