winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I will pee on everything he values.
He better not be in your backpack
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize