Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Randomize
