don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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