i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
