I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize