What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
