k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
