I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
