i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize