I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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