rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
