I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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