She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
