she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
