Just fell off a train. Bad.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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