so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
