what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
