it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
