new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I smell like Dick and happiness
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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