The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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