Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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