did you get engaged???
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Randomize