dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
