That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
