I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
