No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
