it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
