well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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